Family Violence As A Choice
Family violence is when a family member hurts another family member intentionally in a degree that causes deep emotional and/or physical pain.
This comes in many forms such as physical violence, sexual abuse, financial abuse, neglect, coercion, and/or manipulation.
In all cases, one person always has more power than the other thus causing fear and control over the victim.
The abuse is often structured and frequent.
It is wrong to assume that someone is exempt from hurting someone abusively. Oftentimes, family violence is masked as victims do not speak out. Additionally, abusers can often manipulate their victim’s behavior in front of people. Even coming across as friendly and innocent.
It is also wrong to assume that drugs and alcohol cause violence. Although it may increase the likelihood of occurrence, frequency, and degree of the abuse, it does not cause the abuse. Oftentimes perpetrators do not change their abusive behaviors when they are no longer influenced by alcohol or drugs.
It is in the nature of a person to resist and oppose abuse. No abuse victim wants to be abused.
All acts of family violence is done intentionally. It is not correct to say the abuser only lost control or did not manage their anger. It is their decision how they will commit the act and when they commit it. They also make plans on how to respond to the victim’s resistance.
There is no telling how broad the impact of family violence is to the victim as well as the children exposed to the violence and the community at large.
Family violence is a criminal offense and a violation of an individual’s human rights.
Perpetrators of family abuse may come from a former lover, a caretaker, relatives, and direct family members. People from all walks of life are susceptible to family violence, regardless of gender, age, or social status.
Vulnerability is never exclusive to certain types of people. Anyone can be forced to do something they don’t want to do. Anyone can be taken advantage of. It becomes even more dangerous when it becomes increasingly frequent and severe. The tools of the abuser are manipulation of fear and mastery of intimidation.
Violence is often a reaction to the need for control. The behavior comes from a strong sense of entitlement.
Family Abuse and Vulnerable Victims
Indigenous women, disabled women, and women with special needs such as gay women, elderly women, illegal drug users, homeless people, young women, and their children are more vulnerable to family abuse than their counterparts.
Effects of Family Violence
There are many signs that you are experiencing family violence. Some of them are guilt, shame, confusion, loss of confidence, hopelessness, decreased self-esteem, decreased passion, loss of dreams, powerlessness, and frequent anger bouts.
It goes deeper when you start feeling depressed, psychotic, anxious, or fearful of doing activities you normally love doing.
Effects of Exposure To Family Violence
Children who have never been abused but have been exposed to abuse are not exempt from its detrimental effects. Cognitive and emotional development can sometimes be compromised when exposed to family abuse. This goes on until they become adults.
When family violence is a norm in a household, children may learn may that it’s okay to be violent.
Family violence is something that is deeply rooted in a person’s history and philosophy.
Family Abuse and Women
It is a common misconception that it’s easy for women to leave abusive relationships. Many women all over the world fear that if they leave, they put their own lives at risk, as well as the lives and safety of their children. It is this fear that stops women from leaving abusive relationships. There are also other factors such as powerlessness and absence of support.
It is also tempting to put the blame of abuse on women. However, any kind of abuse is in the hands of the perpetrator alone.
The risk of staying in an abusive relationship is high. There is also the uncertainty of ending the cycle of violence by leaving the relationship. It is also common for abusers to threaten their partners if they leave. Even to the point of murdering them and their children.
There are many different types of abusers. Some never bother you when you leave, while others haunt their partners for life. They make unending phone calls, follow them around wherever they go, visiting their new homes without consent, or throwing threats to the partner’s family and friends. They may also worry that their abuser will not be able to survive on their own and commit suicide. Another fear is when their abuser will kidnap their children, hurt their children, or harm another family member or pet.
It is important to remember that it is always up to the perpetrator to end the extent of abuse and violence.