I am not a Monster—Transgenders In-Depth
A transgender starts out with gender dysmorphia or the feeling of being dissatisfied with the bodies they are in. For example, a guy wears a bra and a wig regularly or a girl wears a breast binder and cuts her hair to look like a guy at an early age.
This comes from a feeling of disgust with the changes in their bodies, like a dislike for their own body hair or a discomfort for their breasts and other body parts.
When people with body dysmorphia reach financial independence, they often change their looks to look like the opposite sex, however, some do not do so because they are afraid of shaming their family or face public persecution. In this case, they wait a little longer before they transition which causes a lot of confusion to people.
A transgender’s or a would-be transgender’s life is often plagued with secrets. Their desires are bottled up because they are boxed within a certain gender. Their current orientation does not match what they look like.
It’s normal for people to want to look like someone else, but looking like the opposite gender in public is always an issue because society can be very cruel and can mock you and even look down towards you. Some religious folks can even ostracize you and look at you as an abomination.
People with gender dysmorphia face two choices: (1) be uncomfortable with their physical appearance by staying the same, or (2) transition into looking like the opposite sex and face possible condemnation and mockery from certain people. Some want to change their looks to attract a certain type of person, but even after spending so much on changing how they look, they face rejection.
Factors To Consider Before Transitioning
Making the decision to look like the opposite sex in public is always a difficult process. You have to think about what your family would say, would they be mocked by their friends and acquaintances for being associated with a cross-dresser? Would they be ostracized by their religious community?
They also have to face the possibility of not looking like their ideal look. Even if they look like the opposite sex, they often still see themselves as ugly or not good-looking enough.
They have to worry about investing on expensive gender-bending products like make-up, medicine, and certain articles of clothing and accessories. For males transitioning to females, some articles of clothing can cost a small fortune. The amount of pressure of looking the part can be very stressful. The need to keep up with a certain lifestyle, manner of dressing, and manner of acting can drive anyone crazy.
This stage of a person’s life is often plagued with stress, confusion, and anxiety of whether or not they will be accepted by the person they love.
After the Transition
After transitioning into looking like the opposite sex, transgenders face new problems. Rejection can drive them to regret changing the way they look. Then they have face the grueling process of looking for a new person to love. This process is extra difficult for transgenders because of society’s acceptance of them, and their prospects often wind up rejecting them for fear of being associated with them or shame for getting seen in public with them. Finding a person who accepts them can be very reassuring, but often they are deprived of a happy ending because of their country’s laws and tolerance for homosexual relations.
Marriage or living together is often met with either disgust, mockery, or condemnation. This can lead to the destruction of a relationship or the formation of the relationship in the first place.
Adding to the rejection or not meeting their personal expectations, they have to face their immediate family, relatives, and friends. They are often asked questions like why? What’s the point? When coming from the people closest to them, this lack of acceptance often destroys relationships.
Other fears before or after transitioning into the opposite gender are the health repercussions of going through physical changes, like the effects of hormones or major surgeries to the body.
There is also the inconvenience of changing or explaining themselves when people deal with their legal documents, for example, passports or driver’s licenses.
Transitioning Again and Again
After going through many changes to their body, a person with gender dysmorphia might still not be satisfied with how they look. They are constantly dissatisfied and they go through difficult means to fit their ideal image.
Not being able to produce a baby in their preferred method can be an issue to transgenders. It can spell the existence of a relationship, how long a relationship lasts, or if their children truly accept them or not. This can often lead a trans person to adopt, which has its own issues as well.